[4/2/2024]
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Something that keeps pissing me off is being told that i have to have a "girl name". Fuck off. I know 'James' isn't the most feminine name in the world! I'm well aware! <br>
It's not a big deal, I know its not, but goddamn! shut the fuck up. I don't owe who I am to anyone. I dont owe how I present myself to anyone. I'm me <br>
its this little thing that keeps being brought up. Having a conversation with someone and them saying "when" i change my name instead of "if". <br>
Teachers asking if thats the name I'm comfortable with (because for some ungodly reason the school tells them i'm trans??). <br>
People on dating apps asking what my "girl name" is/
People telling me I have to get a "girl name". like im not really a girl without a fucking name? Like I'm not complete  if i don't pick one out. <br>
I know most people don't mean anything by it. Sometimes its well meaning! but fucking. god. I don't owe you a feminine name. I'm me. <br>
I'm this idea of what you think a girl should be. <br>
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Even when I was super early transitioning it just wasn't much of a thought? I'm James. Thats my name. Thats it. I never considered alternatives that much.<br>
Sometimes i did. Whenever I got dysphoric I'd try to over correct and be as feminine as possible. Some of the names I thought of didn't sound too bad either!
Ashley, Zoe, and Ember, those were a couple of contenders. But thats not me, and I knew that. They don't feel right.<br>
They sound nice but they're not me. I'm James. <br>
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god traditional gender stuff is fucking stupid and should just crumble to dust. Why does anyone care. <br>
a buncha arbitrary rules that i cannot imagine have done anything other then hurt people. Maybe they had some point long ago. perhaps. But this is now. <br>
modern society is so wildly different. <br>
Point is! I'm james. Nothing else! (besides some nicknames, like jamers i like that one and sometimes prefer it but that slightly undermines the point im makin' here so shhhh). <br>
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I think this one is more organized then the last one?<br>
look at me. getting better at this journaling/diarying (is that a word?? diaring maybe. no thats definetley not right) thing.<br>
anyways. love you and seeya :><br>
-james (or jamers)